So Sad

I went to see my friend who has Alzheimer's this afternoon. I have not seen her for awhile. I wanted to...just never got there. Today I was fortunate to find a parking spot (without having to pay) right across the street. I only had to drive around the block once. I thought that was a good omen! 

I was able to walk in the locked ward with a nurse who was right in front of me. I thought that was 'good' also. I went looking in her bedroom but she was not there. I checked the hallways, the end corridor, then finally the TV room where most of the residents it seemed were sitting in chairs watching cartoons. I did not see her. I finally went to the nurses station and interrupted their meeting to ask if they knew where my friend was. One of the nurses excused herself and came with me to help locate her. As it happened, she was lying down on the couch and I never even saw her. The nurse said she does this often. She occupies the whole couch and everyone else sits on chairs around her! In control, even when she isn't!

The nurse helped me to wake her up (a bit) and helped me walk her to another TV room to chat. I did the chatting. Once or twice I thought I heard her say something or she opened her eyes when I tapped her face. She was much more intent on sleeping than she was in saying anything. However, I got the distinct feeling that she was talking to me in her head - the words were coming out - they were just silent words. Oh my dear friend...

As I was leaving some time later, I was waiting for the elevator. A younger man and his middle aged or older dishevelled father were standing at the elevator. He was telling his dad to remember to floss and to brush his teeth, comb his hair. He dad replied that he would. I heard the son say as he was leaving "I love you, dad" to which the father mumbled back "I love you too". Once the doors closed, and the son looked at me, the tears welled up in my eyes and I can't tell if his eyes were full or not. 

It is so sad...what a terrible disease.