Just thinking...

I worked today. It was a busy, full day and I enjoyed every minute of it. At one point during the day, I remember thinking how fortunate I was to have a job that I liked doing (albeit only two days a week), good people to work with and the ability to choose whether I want to work here or someplace else or not at all. I am not thinking of changing jobs...simply being thankful for the one I already have.

I visited my friend yesterday who has Alzheimer's. She is at a different location as she is being checked out and her meds are being modified and thus she is being observed. She seems to be doing well but is noticeably more quiet. I am not sure if that is the drugs or the disease. Anyway, as we all know, patients with this disease forget things and often where they are, why they are there and who YOU are. She doesn't recognize me when I come in. Her friend of thirty plus years. She does not know me but seems willing to walk with me and even go outside the building. I am thankful they allow this for her. There are some patients in her area that are quite vocal, screaming and crying most of the time and others who are continually using expletives to share emotions. It cannot be a comforting thing for my friend to hear this regularly. 

I thought about how fortunate I was to be able to come and go from my home, my job, shopping centre, church, wherever I choose to go. I admit I take it for granted. I am thankful for my health - oh, I have aches and pains but nothing compared to what so many others are experiencing.

 How difficult it must be to be 'caught up in yourself' and unable to get out. I am realizing that unless I go or one of her family members or other friends, she remains inside looking out.  That is always where you find her - at the end of the hall, looking out the window. She's not sure where she is at or what she is looking toward but it is OUT. Away from where she is standing, outside of where she is living. So many are there without family or friends to visit or even touch their hand, or share a smile.

Yesterday, an elderly gentleman was staring at me while I waited for the nurse. I smiled at him and said hello. I told him that it was a nice day outside. It was sunny.  He never took his eyes off me. He had blue, blue eyes which were circled with redness which made me think he had been crying. He just stared at me and then walked towards me. I admit I was a bit apprehensive. I remember thinking that maybe I shouldn't have mentioned 'outside'.  He began talking to me, mumbling about something. He was quite intent about whatever he was saying. I simply smiled and nodded my head in agreement. What else could I do? He seemed satisfied with that. After I walked away, I wondered if it had made any sense to him. What a terrible disease.

As I was saying, my day went by fast as I was so busy. I wonder how fast it went for my friend as she looked out the window?