Just waiting to see you

I had planned to be with my daughter to help her out while she waited for her upcoming birth of our 4th grandchild. As it happened, I arrived on the due date. A week later, she was still 'due'. Unfortunatley, I was only there for the week and then had to return home. It was killing me that I had to leave but I did. Arrangements were made for her mother-in-law to come and stay so that there was no issue with someone looking after the other kids when she finally went into labor. Of couse, that turns out to be the night I leave. A call at 10 pm tells me that her water just broke and they are off to the hospital. Wouldn't you know it! I was only gone six hours and the deed is about to be done - but without me being there! How disappointed am I? Much! Now, sitting here, filling in my blog, I count the minutes and wonder what she is going through, how is my son-in-law doing, how is my new grandchild? Of course, even if I was there, I would not know these things either until all is over but somehow, being there, seems even more important now.

This is perhaps our last grandchild to be born. I so wanted to be there and yet I know I will have years ahead of me to enjoy this new one. I look forward to getting to know her.  Holding and hugging, cradling and caring, loving and enjoying. Yet I so wanted to say I was there for her birth. Oh, I know it's not that big of a deal but somehow right now, it feels like it. Whether it is an hour or a few, I will stay up and wait for the news as if I WAS there! Come on, baby!  Welcome to our world! We love you, already!

Sunshiny day Jan 29 2010

I went for a walk this morning. It actually feels like Spring. No snow, green grass, birds singing, blue sky, sunshine and a stillness all about. I don't mind the snow at all but being here (where at the moment there is no snow) is a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y- BEAUTIFUL! Yes, beautiful. I could swap one province for another at this moment. However, I know once I go home I will get back into the routine of snow and winter coats and boots, etc. etc. etc.  All the trappings of winter in the north country! I think I said once before that I love the four seasons but right now, I am sure glad it feels like spring. Especially as I wait for our fourth grandchild to arrive. It seems to add a 'lightness' to everything (if you know what I mean?).

No news yet about a new grandbaby. Aren't we impatient? We want to grow up fast, get our license, drive a car, move out, meet someone, get engaged, get married, have a child and then one or two more. Then we are waiting for them to move out so we can get on with the second part of our lives, only to end up waiting for them to come home (with family in hand) and start the process all over again. What's the rush? It's what they call LIFE.

I guess the second part of our life is still being a part of the lives of our children and their childen, but in a different way.  You may separate for awhile but you come back together again. Then, as we grow old, they take the role of 'parent' and look after us. Hopefully that is not for a long while yet! It is probably a good thing to keep in mind that you should look after your children well as they will one day be looking after you and will take their cues from how you treated them!

Well, today I am just musing about my early parenthood experiences and seeing how well they are being played out in my daughter's life and her family. I certainly can't take all the credit but hopefully there are a few things that she does with her family that she picked up from her mom. It's a wonderful thing to watch!

TIME

It's amazing how time appears different to us when different things are happening in our lives. Sometimes it feels like time is going by too quickly. Other times it feels like the minutes or day will never pass. What is with that???  Waiting for my granddaughter to be born and now into 'overtime' according to the due date, it feels like the week is slowing going by in one way and then on the other hand, it feels like it is racing by and with no baby, I will soon have to be leaving without ever getting the chance to actually help out and/or hold my new granddaughter. Somtimes I am feeling like I am enjoying this 'quiet' time before the baby comes and talking with my daughter and enjoying my other three grandkids.  Other times, I am anxious for the baby to come and want to 'get with it' and start setting up the crib, changing diapers, washing etc, etc. Time can be whatever you want it to be, I guess.

Scripture says that there is a season for everything under the sun. Guess there is a time for 'patiently' waiting as well. Enjoying the moments as they come as 'it will be, what it will be'.  Right?

I was leafing through a book that is my my daughter's downstairs cabinet. It is by Henry Nouwen called "Can You Drink The Cup".  The author was telling about his recollections as a young boy of his parents (and uncle, aunties) drinking a glass of wine with their meal. One uncle made it into quite a ritual. He (and they) would hold it in their hands, swirl it, look at it, smell the aroma, then take a small sip. They would comment on the flavor, the body, etc. He says "One thing he learned from it all: drinking wine is more than just drinking.  You have to know what you are drinking, and you have to be able to talk about it.  Similarly, just living life is not enough. We must know what we are living. A life that is not reflected upon isn't worth living. It belongs to the essense of being human that we contemplate our life, think about it, discuss it, evaluate it, and form opinions about it. Half of living is reflecting on what is being lived."  I guess that is what I am doing.  Continually assessing where I am at, what I am spending my time thinking about or doing. How much effort I am spending on useless or worthless or time consuming wasteful things AND more importantly, how much time I spend on things that are valuable and important to me and if they are helpful to others.

Well, guess I will spend less time wondering if my time is being spent appropriately and usefully and just 'enjoying the moment' for the 'time' being! Will let you know how this all turns out in a later blog.

Amazing Life

Isn't it amazing the whole thing about having a baby? I was in the OB office the other day with my daughter. It was interesting to see the varied moms-to-be and their accompanying spouse, friend, mother, or grandmother. All different stages of pregnancy and some even had their babies and were there for their checkups. I watched one older gramma who was in a wheelchair but sitting with her daughter? granddaughter? Nevertheless, it was very interesting to think of the whole life process while I watched her, the one she was with and the young children and new babies there. Different stages of life. I was wondering what the older woman was thinking. Did it remind her of her pregnancies? Did it bring good or bad memories? Did it make her think of how short life is? How quickly time flies by. It made me think of the same thing. We have lived through a lot already and want to share that with the new generation who is not really as interested in the changes as we would want them to be. Nevertheless, they will live through the same kind of changes in their lives in the coming years. Again...amazing. Begs the question...what's it all about? and why? Answers to follow (literally)!

So tired, tired of waiting

Everything is in order to have a baby ... except for the baby! We are waiting patiently for our daughter to 'start the process of labor' and she apparently has other things on her mind. So, we wait. Not that I mind as it is giving us time to chat and once the baby comes, well, my work will just begin. It means, picking up kids and dropping them off at appts and school and soccer and music, etc, etc, etc. So, in the meantime, we wait. Expectantly, but patiently. This is one thing we don't have too much control over. It probably is a good thing.

It is nice to be with the kids and hear what they are doing in school. Also to see how they change even in a short while since Christmas. Oh boy, they are growing up. Of course, them growing up does not mean that I am getting older. The two are NOT connected. It is amazng to see how different the three g'kids are in their actions, behavior and thinking.Guess that is what makes each of us unique. I love watching how they are changing and appreciate the changes so much more than when our own was growing up. Guess you don't notice it quite as much when you are IN it. Know what I mean?

Well, I'll keep trying to post. Somehow it is not as important to do so when I am involved in this live changing activity all around me. Ah motherhood!

Grandparenting - It's a Hoot!

You know what grandparents are like, don't you? They always seem to be showing pictures of their new grandkids. I am no different. As I said previously I am expecting, or should I say my daughter is expecting their fourth child on (or about) Jan.24. In the meantime, here are the three we already have and love. I guess you don't really understand these feelings unless you have a grandchild of your own. It truly takes you by surprise. A friend of mine had 3 children and had not yet had any grandkids. She listened patiently and with enthusiasm when I showed her all my pictures of my first grandchild. She thought they were cute and said so. She also said she had expected that eventually I would 'fade into the sunset' with all my photographs. However, that was not to be. #2 came along and so did the pictures! Around about this time, her own daughter gave birth. Wouldn't you know it, out came the pictures. Tit for tat? No, just the same overwhelming feelings called "the Grandchild Syndrome! She said to me that she always appreciated how much I loved my grandchildren but thought 'enough is enough' or 'I love my kids but I don't continuously show pictures' so what's up with new grandparents?  Well, she found out. It is truly amazing the love in your heart. She thought her heart was already full to the brim but amazingly, more love pours in and out when the grandkids start coming. We definitely have an amazing God of creation.  Check this out:  Proverbs 17:6 Children's children (or grandchildren-parenthesis mine) are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. I hope that is the way it is for you.  Expect to see more pictures in the coming weeks!

Time Consuming

Do you remember the day we thought that computers were going to save time? Don't you find that funny now? I think they have actually caused us to be a lot busier. They definitely have made me more impatient than I used to be. I want it NOW. Do you find yourself tapping your fingers on the table when you are waiting for the computer to find your destination. Don't you often want to just grab the computer and somehow insert your hand into it to extract what you are looking for? This reminds me of when I first started typing. It was on the old Remington (manual). Wow, that was a long time ago. Anyway, shortly after, they got these 'electric' typewriters on which you did not need to throw the carriage when you finished a line (in other words, a carriage return). I was always throwing the 'imaginary carriage'. It took some time to get out of that habit. We all know that typing becomes automatic after awhile. Your fingers just head to the right keys (usually!) and away you go! There was no searching, or googling, or surfing, or posting or downloading or dragging or pasting (unless it was cut and paste after you printed)! Now you can do so much more and you always try to as well - which is why it takes longer. I am learning to do Powerpoint and I just never seem to be satisfied with what I have. I always want to add 'one more thing' or 'correct one more thing'. Maybe it is just me? All that being said, it is amazing that we can find so much information right at our fingertips, sitting at home in front of this little white window! Or that we can forward our pictures and letters and greeting cards, etc, etc, to our friends and family and even strangers. I guess we should not forget though about 'personal contact' - in your face or more politely, "in person" contact. We need to do that even more often now as we get tied to our computers or tv's.  Make it a daily habit to see a friend "in person". It's not that easy!

On another note, totally unrelated....I was reading Philip Yancy's book "The Jesus I Never Knew" and he said an interesting thing.  Quote: "When I switched on my computer this morning, Microsoft Windows flashed the date, implicitly acknowledging that, whatever you may believe about it, the birth of Jesus was so important that it split history into two parts. Everything that has happened on this planet falls into a category of before Christ or after Christ."  Unquote. Interesting. Just a little food for thought.

Well, better practise what I preach and go and visit a friend. Take care.
Psalm 73:Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.